Sarah, Hagar, Abraham and a Mother’s Day Talk Audio Recording

Here is the audio of me speaking at my church on Mother’s Day a few years ago. The links on my website to various talks I have given over the years are either not working anymore or require a subscription to access. So, to those of you who have been trying to access an audio recording, I apologize and give you this instead.

In my talk I look at the wealthy, privileged, and beautiful yet childless Sarah, the poor, immigrant, working mom Hagar, along with Abraham, the patriarch who linked these two very different women into their life as one blended but dysfunctional family. Infertility, class differences, cultural pressures, and ancient marriage contracts surface to shed light on our own struggles to live out our lives as women.

Happy listening!

“A Woman and Her God”

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Neither Sex Has a Corner on Sin: The Complicit Women of Isaiah 3-4, Current Events, and Women Attached to Power

Sometimes, when I read a lot of what’s out there, I get the impression that some people think men have a corner on sin, or at least that men are better at sin than women. So many news stories detail men who commit horrible acts and, often, the women who call them out. Men are the bad guys and women the good. Yep, men may be inferior in many ways (so it goes), such as in their ability to rein in their passions, control their anger, or help around the house. But when it comes to sin, well, men win, hands down.

This, of course, is nonsense. 

Continue reading “Neither Sex Has a Corner on Sin: The Complicit Women of Isaiah 3-4, Current Events, and Women Attached to Power”

Why Was Adam Alone Given the Command? Gen. 2:16-17, Hierarchy, and Reading Between the Lines

Some people think Gen. 2:16-17 – where God told the first human not to eat from a certain tree – has something to do with the male-female relationship. For them, it is one of the details that demonstrates the man is the leader of the pair, the teacher of the woman, and that he possesses greater responsibility and authority than the woman, including authority over her. 

Here’s how the text puts it:

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” (Gen. 2:16-17)

And here’s a comment one of my readers recently sent me:

My pastor uses this idea as the first incidence of hierarchy in terms of responsibility between the genders.

Continue reading “Why Was Adam Alone Given the Command? Gen. 2:16-17, Hierarchy, and Reading Between the Lines”

Awkward! Why I Don’t Look for Ways to be Led by Every Man I Meet.

I’ve been interviewing painters. These days it seems so difficult to find someone who will do any work for a decent price – I mean someone who will do good work for a fair price. But we need the house painted, so I’ve been talking to a few men who claim they know how to wield a brush. The bids have been all over the map – anywhere from sky-high to lunar-high. Until the last guy, who we hired.

After our lucky painter left, I was thinking about something I read in a recent book arguing for distinct roles for men and women in the church. More of a practical how-to than a detailed biblical defense, I imagine that even if I agreed with the premise, numerous ideas would give me pause. One, in particular, came to mind after the departure of our competent and reasonable painter.

Continue reading “Awkward! Why I Don’t Look for Ways to be Led by Every Man I Meet.”

Why I Write: For the First Time, Women Are Less Religious Than Men

I haven’t been posting much on my blog lately, partly because I’ve been working on some other writing projects but also because I’ve taken a position at my church as the executive pastor. But recently Christianity Today came out with a report that explains why I write, why I believe God has called me to throw my hat in the ring with so many others who are discussing what the Bible does and does not say about women.

“With Gen Z, Women Are No Longer More Religious than Men” details recent research demonstrating that the differing rates of religious involvement for men and women in the United States, which previously has always shown higher rates among women, has reversed in younger generations. It is no surprise that compared to previous generations there are more nones (who identify as atheist, agnostic, or nothing in particular) among all Gen Zers (women and men). The startling fact is that this is the first generation in which women nones outnumber men.

Continue reading “Why I Write: For the First Time, Women Are Less Religious Than Men”

Are Men More Accountable to God than Women?

The other day I heard a Christian author say that men and women are assigned different roles in Scripture. “For example,” she said, “men are responsible for their family. That’s in the Bible and I believe the Bible.” She didn’t directly state that women are not responsible for their family, but that was the implication. Nor did she mention where in Scripture she finds this idea. 

Her comment reminded me of the many times and various ways I’ve heard people claim that although women are accountable to God in some sense, men are more accountable. God may call women to account for their personal actions and responsibilities, but men will answer for the overall picture, the larger narrative. A woman may be answerable for her “domain,” but a man is “lord of the earth,” responsible for everything that happens under the sun.[1] Continue reading “Are Men More Accountable to God than Women?”

Abigail and David’s Comrades: A Case of Great and Not-So-Great Advice

David, the future king, is on the lam. Except for brief moments of skin-deep remorse Saul is bent on impaling the young man who replaced the troubled king as the focus of public adulation. Seriously, how could the groupies do any less than swoon over the ruddily handsome warrior who took down a lion, a bear, and Goliath? And how could Saul do anything other than become absolutely, insanely jealous? So, throughout the second half of 1 Samuel, Israel’s new hero is on the run.

The question the text seems to ask, especially in chapters 24-26, is whether David will stoop to Saul’s level. Under the pressure of the crazy king’s unrelenting pursuit, will David become just as murderous? Will David permit the strain of the continual fighting for his life, barely evading Saul here, there, and everywhere, to consume his heart and destroy his integrity? Will he allow his sense of responsibility for Saul’s ruthless slaughter of the priests of Nob to push him over the edge?[1]

Yet even as the text confronts David with three sterling opportunities to take a wrong turn, it also turns the spotlight on who advises David well and who counsels him poorly.

Guess who lands on the right side of history.

Continue reading “Abigail and David’s Comrades: A Case of Great and Not-So-Great Advice”

To Help or Not to Help, that is Not the Question: Gen. 2:18, Woman as Man’s “Helper,” and Issues in Translation

Recently I took the time to do an in-depth study of ezer, the Hebrew word describing the first woman in Gen. 2:18, 20 that is often translated “helper” in English. Though I’ve spent way too many years reading every scholar I could get my hands on, I mean every scholarly comment I could get my hands on, as so far I have not laid hands on any scholars, when I finally studied ezer in depth I could not help being more than mildly surprised. Frankly, unless someone can send me a suitable helper to help me see the light, I can’t help but question the helpfulness of the translation “helper.”

You see, I had heard that while ezer-helpers aren’t always subordinate, they can be. Though ezer is used mostly of Yahweh in the Old Testament, the one being who is vastly superior to anyone and everyone, it is said that the word itself doesn’t tell you whether the helper is inferior or superior to the person they’re helping.[1] So, an ezer-helper could supposedly be either, though when it’s the woman it means inferior. Inferior in rank, that is, not in essence.[2] Continue reading “To Help or Not to Help, that is Not the Question: Gen. 2:18, Woman as Man’s “Helper,” and Issues in Translation”

The Stereotype of the Nagging, Contentious Wife: Understanding Proverbs in its Original Setting

I’ve come across a couple of sources lately that argue the book of Proverbs teaches that wives have a tendency to be complaining, contentious nags.While every wife should take the warning against becoming a difficult wife seriously, the question is whether Proverbs is highlighting innate gender differences when it identifies wives as nagging and contentious. Yet one author believes that is exactly what is happening in this ancient book of wisdom. In Proverbs we discover “gender sin,” she argues, which consists of anger for men and nagging and complaining for women.

A gender sin is a wrongful action or attitude commonly displayed by one gender as opposed to the other. Gender sin may not be in the dictionary, but Proverbs attributes “anger sin” to men and “nag sin” to women. Of course, wives get angry and husbands gripe, but every time Proverbs mentions a nagging, grumbling, contentious person, it is a married woman, a wife.[1]

Continue reading “The Stereotype of the Nagging, Contentious Wife: Understanding Proverbs in its Original Setting”

“Does Gender Matter?” My Latest Podcast Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery

It feels strange to post about ordinary things – like the meaning of masculinity and femininity – in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Life has been put on hold in so many ways here in Colorado with school, restaurant, retail, resort, and government office closings. Applications for unemployment insurance have skyrocketed in the state over the past week, as thousands of people are suddenly out of work.

And yet I wanted to let you know about my latest podcast with Dr. Juli Slattery of Authentic Intimacy, if for no other reason than that the Java With Juli podcasts are only available to the general public for six months. After that you have to subscribe to listen.

Here are a few comments about the interview: Continue reading ““Does Gender Matter?” My Latest Podcast Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery”

My First Article Published by Fathom

This week my first article for Fathom Magazine came out. It’s more personal (and shorter) than most of what I write here. So if you’ve been wondering what in my story has made me so passionate about women and their identity as image-bearers of God, take a look! It’s very strange to me now that I did not see anything wrong with the concepts of male priority I was taught when I was young. I was just a teenager though, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Continue reading “My First Article Published by Fathom”

“Around the House, Women Rule” and Other Marriage Myths

It seems like everywhere I turn these days I’m hearing that women rule the roost. Recently I had a conversation with a Christian leader who said that it’s women who have the power at home. He went on to explain that, for example, men ask their wives for permission before heading out to the golf links on Saturday.

Then I ran across an article at the Love and Respect website where Emerson Eggerichs responds to concerns of wives whose husbands seem less respectful toward them since doing his study. After citing numerous Proverbs that warn about contentious wives, Eggerichs quotes a couple of sources including a USA Today article that claims “around the house, women rule.” Eggerichs goes on to say that the true problem in these marriages may be “a contentious wife who is expressing her disgruntlement over the fact that periodically her husband puts his foot down and breaks the pattern of her getting what she wants.”

Continue reading ““Around the House, Women Rule” and Other Marriage Myths”

Who is Struggling More (Men or Women) is the Wrong Question

In my last post I mentioned a conversation I had with a speaker at a recent theology of marriage conference. I have since learned that he is a member of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, which may explain why our conversation was like two trains passing each other in the night.[1]

Anyway, this man joined my table during lunch, asking what we would have said if we had been part of the panel discussion that had just completed. Since the topic was one of my interests – gender differences – I jumped in and said I don’t believe the difference between men and women is a matter of leading and following, as had been implied by the panel. Ruling authority is granted to all human beings equally in Genesis, and since leadership and authority go hand in hand, it does not seem that there is any basis for claiming men were created to lead and women were created to follow. Continue reading “Who is Struggling More (Men or Women) is the Wrong Question”

What I Learned from the Perfect Wife: Sarah, Abraham and 1 Peter 3:1-6

I’ve mentioned this here before, but my marriage went through a radical transformation a number of years ago. For a long time my husband and I tried to work out our relationship according to traditional biblical marriage teachings, with him leading and me submitting.

We were committed to this path since we thought it was the way a Christian marriage should function, even though we ended up far more frustrated than happy. Then about ten years ago we went through a crisis that brought all of our unhealthy relational patterns to the surface. At that point we either had to figure out how to change or face the possibility of losing everything we had worked toward for so long.

Continue reading “What I Learned from the Perfect Wife: Sarah, Abraham and 1 Peter 3:1-6”

It’s Good to Be a Woman Day Retreats

A few years ago I was asked to join a team of young women who hoped to reach the women of their generation with a conference designed specifically for them. Feeling that the women’s ministry of our church catered to an older generation, these young leaders were hoping to capture the hearts of their peers.

What struck me that day was what these women hoped to communicate through their conference. A lot of ideas were knocked about but in the end it came down to this: our generation needs to believe it’s good to be a woman. Some of those present expressed the idea that it can be easier to think it’s good to be a woman out in the world than it is in the church. Once a woman becomes a Christian, a whole new set of expectations and limitations is placed upon her that can cause her to doubt the goodness of being female.

We’re at a point in time when women need to know that God created a good thing when he created woman. Rightly understood, what the Bible teaches about womanhood is empowering and freeing. Women are both fully human and fully woman. Women fully represent God in his eternal essence, just as men do. Women also reflect humanity as the object of God’s affection.

There is a lot of confusion in current Christian teaching on gender and “gender roles.” In some cases fundamental human qualities are ascribed to men alone, leaving the impression that women are somehow a bit less than fully human. In others, differences between women and men are minimized or ignored. And, very often, the fact that a husband and wife point to the greater “marriage,” that of Christ and the church, is taken to mean all sorts of things that it does not.

For this reason I have launched my It’s Good to Be a Woman day retreats.

In one day women gain an easy to remember understanding of their essential identity, including how they are the same as men and how they are different. Drawing from my research on ancient understandings of the image of God and gender, I explain the surprising uniqueness of the Bible’s take on the essential dignity and humanity of all human beings, whether they be male or female, rich or poor, black, brown, white, educated or uneducated.

Then, working directly from Scripture, I break down a woman’s identity into six essential components, illustrating how each of them works out in practical ways through the lives of Bible women.

Here is a summary of the It’s Good to Be a Woman teaching on womanhood:

From Genesis 1 women learn that they represent God in his fundamental essence in three ways. Just as God is king of the universe, so women are given authority to rule and subdue the earth. As God is creator of all, so women are designed to be creative and productive and to work. And even as God exists as an eternal community through his triune nature, so women are created for community. In these aspects of her identity a woman is the same as a man.

From Genesis 2 women discover that they are also distinct from men. One of the most divisive passages of Scripture, this chapter is generally taken to establish either the authority of men over women or the equality of the sexes.

The point, however, may lie elsewhere. So that humanity might comprehend the intimate, passionate and very personal relationship God desires to experience with his own bride, the man and woman were created in such a way as to forever point to this far greater and grander truth.

For this reason the man was created first, to reflect the fact that God was first. And the woman was created for the man as his beloved, to reflect the truth that humanity was created for God as God’s beloved. The man leaves his mother and father to pursue his bride to remind us that God is the one who pursues us, who has sacrificed greatly in order to be one with us, his bride.

The woman is also the man’s strong help, his partner, revealing that humankind was designed as God’s strong help, the steward of all earthly creation. Finally, it is the woman who bears and nurtures life with her body, who is the mother of all the living. Through this God reminds us that his people bear the responsibility to nurture both physical and spiritual life around us. Without the cooperation of human beings, God’s family does not grow.

As part of my discussion of a woman’s unique feminine identity, I discuss the limitations of the husband/wife-Christ/church analogy and my understanding of headship. Though Christ is King, Lord, and Great Shepherd to his people, besides being our Bridegroom, Scripture never identifies a wife as subject, servant or sheep with respect to her husband.

If you are interested in hosting an It’s Good to Be a Woman event, or would simply like more information, please contact me through the form on my Speaking page. If you prefer a weekend retreat rather than a one-day event, I offer that option as well.

Paul’s Theology of Gender Part 2: The First Reality

For the next few posts I’m going to focus on the overwhelming majority (96%) of what the Apostle Paul wrote that indicates he believed women and men are the same with respect to their full possession of the image of God. (If you haven’t read the first installment of this series, you may want to check it out before you read on.)

At this point in my life, I’m convinced that Paul believed women are fully and equally human, possessing the same essential human nature as men. I will explain why I believe this by walking you through the books of the New Testament that shed light on Paul’s thoughts, and when I’m finished you can decide if, as Ryan Lochte would say, I’m over-exaggerating.

Continue reading “Paul’s Theology of Gender Part 2: The First Reality”

Paul’s Theology of Gender: A Dual Reality

We know we are supposed to look for underlying principles when reading the Bible, since things don’t always pan out the same way today as they did when they were written. At times the transcultural ideas are pretty straightforward and easy to identify; at others the broader ethics can be tough to decipher.

I think the Apostle Paul’s views on gender fall into the tough-to-decipher camp.

Continue reading “Paul’s Theology of Gender: A Dual Reality”

Source of Sin, Suffering and Shame: More Ancient Views of Women

Sometimes we read the New Testament and are surprised by a few of the things that are said to and about women. Paul in particular has the effect of raising a few modern eyebrows, groomed and plucked and enlightened as they may be. What we don’t consider are the Jewish eyebrows that would have struggled to stay put if they had encountered some of the same texts that rub us the wrong way.

Like Philo’s.

Continue reading “Source of Sin, Suffering and Shame: More Ancient Views of Women”

Why Adam Was First (It’s Not What You Think)

Much ado has been made about the fact that Genesis 2 tells us the man was created before the woman.[1] Some say this Adam-before-Eve-ness, along with his role in naming her and her status as his helper, means that Adam was created to be in authority over Eve. Others note that Eve is Adam’s bone-of-bone, flesh-of-flesh, in-his-face help,[2] so the point of the Genesis 2 narrative must not be hierarchy but equality.

Then there are a few, not as many for sure, who think Eve’s comparison to God (who is so often called our helper in Scripture) in the context of Adam’s forsaking of his parents to cleave to his sweetie (something no proper Israelite would approve of), means that she is supposed to be the leader of the family.[3]

Continue reading “Why Adam Was First (It’s Not What You Think)”

Deformed Males and Lazy Parasites: Ancient Views of Women

mythologcial fountain statue

People have been trying to identify the essential differences between men and women for millennia and, I might add, have come up with some insomnia-inducing conclusions. We have our modern debates, for sure, like whether men are from Mars and women from Venus (figuratively speaking, of course) or whether gender distinctions are nothing more than one big fat delusion. None of the current discussions fascinates me the way ancient ideas of gender do, however.

Continue reading “Deformed Males and Lazy Parasites: Ancient Views of Women”