Category: Equality

Neither Sex Has a Corner on Sin: The Complicit Women of Isaiah 3-4, Current Events, and Women Attached to Power

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 2 Comments

Sometimes, when I read a lot of what’s out there, I get the impression that some people think men have a corner on sin, or at least that men are better at sin than women. So many news stories detail men who commit horrible acts and, often, the women who call them out. Men are the bad guys and women the good. Yep, men may be inferior in many ways (so it goes), such as in their ability to rein in their passions, control their anger, or help around the house. But when it comes to sin, well, men win, hands down.

This, of course, is nonsense. 

Continue reading “Neither Sex Has a Corner on Sin: The Complicit Women of Isaiah 3-4, Current Events, and Women Attached to Power” →

Shiny Hurting People, Imaginary Umbrellas, and Biblical Authority: Bill Gothard and IBLP

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

It was the summer of ’73, a hot and miserable evening in the San Bernardino Fairgrounds, when I stood from a steel folding chair and placed myself firmly under my umbrella of protection. My entire family had gone to hear the man of the moment, Bill Gothard, at his Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts (IBYC), a week-long seminar for all ages. Young, ignorant, and powerfully zealous, I had no clue that Gothard’s principles would gut my initiative, twist my understanding of the Bible, warp my view of God, or hamstring my future marriage. 

And yet that is exactly what they did.

Continue reading “Shiny Hurting People, Imaginary Umbrellas, and Biblical Authority: Bill Gothard and IBLP” →

Why Was Adam Alone Given the Command? Gen. 2:16-17, Hierarchy, and Reading Between the Lines

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 4 Comments

Some people think Gen. 2:16-17 – where God told the first human not to eat from a certain tree – has something to do with the male-female relationship. For them, it is one of the details that demonstrates the man is the leader of the pair, the teacher of the woman, and that he possesses greater responsibility and authority than the woman, including authority over her. 

Here’s how the text puts it:

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” (Gen. 2:16-17)

And here’s a comment one of my readers recently sent me:

My pastor uses this idea as the first incidence of hierarchy in terms of responsibility between the genders.

Continue reading “Why Was Adam Alone Given the Command? Gen. 2:16-17, Hierarchy, and Reading Between the Lines” →

Did the Man Name the Woman in Genesis 2:23? Maybe Not.

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 2 Comments

It has often been argued that God created men to be the leaders in the male-female relationship. One of the reasons given is the way the man names the woman “woman” (ishah) in Gen. 2:23. So, although God formed both men and women to rule and subdue the earth, from the get-go he also designed men to rule over women. By claiming that naming is an exercise of dominion, Gen. 2:23 is taken as important evidence of the man’s God-given authority over the woman.

Not everyone agrees. Many counter that the man’s naming of the woman has nothing to do with exercising dominion, but rather with identifying who she is in relation to himself. She is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, like him and equal to him, the ishah (woman) to his ish (man). Rather than an indication of hierarchy, these people argue, the naming speaks to mutuality and sameness. Continue reading “Did the Man Name the Woman in Genesis 2:23? Maybe Not.” →

Why I Write: For the First Time, Women Are Less Religious Than Men

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 6 Comments

I haven’t been posting much on my blog lately, partly because I’ve been working on some other writing projects but also because I’ve taken a position at my church as the executive pastor. But recently Christianity Today came out with a report that explains why I write, why I believe God has called me to throw my hat in the ring with so many others who are discussing what the Bible does and does not say about women.

“With Gen Z, Women Are No Longer More Religious than Men” details recent research demonstrating that the differing rates of religious involvement for men and women in the United States, which previously has always shown higher rates among women, has reversed in younger generations. It is no surprise that compared to previous generations there are more nones (who identify as atheist, agnostic, or nothing in particular) among all Gen Zers (women and men). The startling fact is that this is the first generation in which women nones outnumber men.

Continue reading “Why I Write: For the First Time, Women Are Less Religious Than Men” →

Can a Woman Be a Pastor’s Right-Hand Man?

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 1 Comment

Just to clarify, I’m not talking about the pastor’s Girl Friday, who pens the letter in his name, buys the coffee at Costco, and types the announcements into the bulletin. Neither am I referring to the pastor’s Yes Man, the one who is uniformly loyal, gets behind every plan, and takes the pastor’s side in every disagreement. 

What I’m thinking of is that person who can be fiercely loyal yet also possess the courage to speak the truth, who is overwhelmingly supportive yet can correct or admonish when necessary, and who does so only out of a pure and undefiled love of God. It’s the one who hears from God and can speak on God’s behalf, not just out of their own wisdom, however valuable that may be.

I’m talking about the person God uses as a prophetic voice in the life of the pastor.

Continue reading “Can a Woman Be a Pastor’s Right-Hand Man?” →

Egalitarians Need to Locate Genesis 2 in the Grand Narrative of Scripture

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 6 Comments

Probably most egalitarians have been accused of claiming there’s no difference between men and women.[1] It’s a common response to the view that both women and men are full image-bearers of God and therefore equally participate in the fundamental human calling of leadership on this planet. 

Mine came in a private conversation with one of the speakers at a theology of marriage event at my seminary. I was surprised he assumed that everyone in attendance agreed with his belief that men lead and women follow, and he was surprised when I said I did not think this paradigm described the difference between women and men at all.

Incredulously he asked, “Are you saying there are no differences?” Continue reading “Egalitarians Need to Locate Genesis 2 in the Grand Narrative of Scripture” →

Are Men More Accountable to God than Women?

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 12 Comments

The other day I heard a Christian author say that men and women are assigned different roles in Scripture. “For example,” she said, “men are responsible for their family. That’s in the Bible and I believe the Bible.” She didn’t directly state that women are not responsible for their family, but that was the implication. Nor did she mention where in Scripture she finds this idea. 

Her comment reminded me of the many times and various ways I’ve heard people claim that although women are accountable to God in some sense, men are more accountable. God may call women to account for their personal actions and responsibilities, but men will answer for the overall picture, the larger narrative. A woman may be answerable for her “domain,” but a man is “lord of the earth,” responsible for everything that happens under the sun.[1] Continue reading “Are Men More Accountable to God than Women?” →

To Help or Not to Help, that is Not the Question: Gen. 2:18, Woman as Man’s “Helper,” and Issues in Translation

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 5 Comments

Recently I took the time to do an in-depth study of ezer, the Hebrew word describing the first woman in Gen. 2:18, 20 that is often translated “helper” in English. Though I’ve spent way too many years reading every scholar I could get my hands on, I mean every scholarly comment I could get my hands on, as so far I have not laid hands on any scholars, when I finally studied ezer in depth I could not help being more than mildly surprised. Frankly, unless someone can send me a suitable helper to help me see the light, I can’t help but question the helpfulness of the translation “helper.”

You see, I had heard that while ezer-helpers aren’t always subordinate, they can be. Though ezer is used mostly of Yahweh in the Old Testament, the one being who is vastly superior to anyone and everyone, it is said that the word itself doesn’t tell you whether the helper is inferior or superior to the person they’re helping.[1] So, an ezer-helper could supposedly be either, though when it’s the woman it means inferior. Inferior in rank, that is, not in essence.[2] Continue reading “To Help or Not to Help, that is Not the Question: Gen. 2:18, Woman as Man’s “Helper,” and Issues in Translation” →

The Double Standard, Men as Victims of Adultery, Prostitution, and Jesus: A Look at Proverbs 6:26

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 24 Comments

In reading commentaries for my post The Stereotype of the Nagging, Contentious Wife, I ran across an interpretation of Proverbs 6:26 that I’m not convinced is entirely accurate. This is the verse that seems to say it’s okay for a man to visit a prostitute – at least in some English versions – though he’d better stay away from another man’s wife. I don’t know about you, but it would not be okay with me if my husband dallied with any other woman, no matter who she was or how she made a living.[1]

For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread, but another man’s wife preys on your very life. (Prov. 6:26, NIV)

The comparison between the toll exacted on a man for having sex with a married woman versus a prostitute appears to imply that sleeping with the second is no big deal.[2] Even though it’s not entirely clear how to translate the Hebrew (it may mean that a prostitute reduces a man to a loaf of bread), becoming a pauper is not as bad as losing your life.[3]

What’s going on here?

Continue reading “The Double Standard, Men as Victims of Adultery, Prostitution, and Jesus: A Look at Proverbs 6:26” →

The Stereotype of the Nagging, Contentious Wife: Understanding Proverbs in its Original Setting

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 10 Comments

I’ve come across a couple of sources lately that argue the book of Proverbs teaches that wives have a tendency to be complaining, contentious nags.While every wife should take the warning against becoming a difficult wife seriously, the question is whether Proverbs is highlighting innate gender differences when it identifies wives as nagging and contentious. Yet one author believes that is exactly what is happening in this ancient book of wisdom. In Proverbs we discover “gender sin,” she argues, which consists of anger for men and nagging and complaining for women.

A gender sin is a wrongful action or attitude commonly displayed by one gender as opposed to the other. Gender sin may not be in the dictionary, but Proverbs attributes “anger sin” to men and “nag sin” to women. Of course, wives get angry and husbands gripe, but every time Proverbs mentions a nagging, grumbling, contentious person, it is a married woman, a wife.[1]

Continue reading “The Stereotype of the Nagging, Contentious Wife: Understanding Proverbs in its Original Setting” →

Emotion or Reason? What Coronavirus Teaches Us About Embracing a Full Humanity

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

I’ll admit I’ve been a bit distracted by the Coronavirus crisis. My youngest daughter is a trauma-ICU nurse in Nashville and she’s scared. They don’t have enough personal protective equipment and although her unit is not focused on COVID-19 patients, the physicians move between the emergency department and the trauma ward on a regular basis. One doctor has already tested positive and a few patients are pending. She texted me to say, “You and Dad aren’t going out, are you? You’re isolating, right?”

This sort of emotional response may seem like overkill to some. A longtime friend complained on Facebook about Colorado’s stay at home order, arguing it is unnecessary in such a sparsely populated state. This perspective may come from the fact that at the same time our governor is telling us to stay home, he is also trying to reassure us that only about 10% of cases need hospitalization and only 5% of those are critical. And when Time magazine reports a worldwide case fatality rate of 4% but a U.S. rate of 1.7%, no wonder people are complaining.

Continue reading “Emotion or Reason? What Coronavirus Teaches Us About Embracing a Full Humanity” →

“Does Gender Matter?” My Latest Podcast Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

It feels strange to post about ordinary things – like the meaning of masculinity and femininity – in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Life has been put on hold in so many ways here in Colorado with school, restaurant, retail, resort, and government office closings. Applications for unemployment insurance have skyrocketed in the state over the past week, as thousands of people are suddenly out of work.

And yet I wanted to let you know about my latest podcast with Dr. Juli Slattery of Authentic Intimacy, if for no other reason than that the Java With Juli podcasts are only available to the general public for six months. After that you have to subscribe to listen.

Here are a few comments about the interview: Continue reading ““Does Gender Matter?” My Latest Podcast Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery” →

Who is Struggling More (Men or Women) is the Wrong Question

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

In my last post I mentioned a conversation I had with a speaker at a recent theology of marriage conference. I have since learned that he is a member of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, which may explain why our conversation was like two trains passing each other in the night.[1]

Anyway, this man joined my table during lunch, asking what we would have said if we had been part of the panel discussion that had just completed. Since the topic was one of my interests – gender differences – I jumped in and said I don’t believe the difference between men and women is a matter of leading and following, as had been implied by the panel. Ruling authority is granted to all human beings equally in Genesis, and since leadership and authority go hand in hand, it does not seem that there is any basis for claiming men were created to lead and women were created to follow. Continue reading “Who is Struggling More (Men or Women) is the Wrong Question” →

What I Learned from the Perfect Wife: Sarah, Abraham and 1 Peter 3:1-6

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 4 Comments

I’ve mentioned this here before, but my marriage went through a radical transformation a number of years ago. For a long time my husband and I tried to work out our relationship according to traditional biblical marriage teachings, with him leading and me submitting.

We were committed to this path since we thought it was the way a Christian marriage should function, even though we ended up far more frustrated than happy. Then about ten years ago we went through a crisis that brought all of our unhealthy relational patterns to the surface. At that point we either had to figure out how to change or face the possibility of losing everything we had worked toward for so long.

Continue reading “What I Learned from the Perfect Wife: Sarah, Abraham and 1 Peter 3:1-6” →

Five Reasons I Don’t See Male-Female Hierarchy in Genesis 1-3

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 3 Comments

I recently recorded another podcast with Dr. Juli Slattery, cofounder of Authentic Intimacy and author of Rethinking Sexuality. This time the discussion was about husbands and wives who control their spouses. The other guest that day was Dr. Ron Welch, a counseling professor at Denver Seminary and author of The Controlling Husband.

Our topic was prompted by this response to an earlier podcast Juli had done with the Welches about how Ron had overcome his tendency to be a controlling husband.

Juli, I would love to hear you discuss this topic, with the added element of spiritual abuse. My husband sounds so much like Dr. Welch, except he also acts as the voice of God in my life. He accuses me of resisting God, of being unsaved and not the kind of woman God esteems, etc. I’m in counseling and have had a pastor friend reach out to him, but he refuses to consider marriage counseling or meeting with a pastor. He says I’m unempowered by God because I’m seeking outside help.[1]

Continue reading “Five Reasons I Don’t See Male-Female Hierarchy in Genesis 1-3” →

Adam and Eve Didn’t Reverse Roles

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 8 Comments

Some of you who read my post A Bad Decision and the Fallacy of the Role Reversal Argument had questions about the whole idea of role reversal. What I want to do today is explain how Genesis 3 is interpreted to get the idea and how this position misses the point. In this post I’m going to respond to the idea of role reversal. In my next I will rebut the perspective that headship means authority.

But before we get started, let me explain what a, role reversal is. Fundamentally, it is the idea that Adam and Eve sinned by reversing their God-ordained gender roles. Eve wanted to be in charge and Adam didn’t.

Bingo. Roles reversed.

Continue reading “Adam and Eve Didn’t Reverse Roles” →

A Bad Decision and the Fallacy of the Role Reversal Argument

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 5 Comments

Now and then my husband and I make a bad decision. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Sometimes it’s one we arrive at together, sometimes it’s his decision, and sometimes it’s mine.

Recently we made a killer of a bad business decision.

The painful consequences of our fecklessness prompted Jim and me to reflect on our decision-making process and how we can improve it. Our bottom line: we didn’t work together the way we should have. We need to improve our commitment to sharing our gut-level hesitations with each other, to taking more time in conversation before signing on the dotted line.

One thing that never crossed our mind, however, was that our bad decision was due to a role reversal. In other words, we don’t believe that if I would just stay out of it, Jim would make terrific decisions.

Continue reading “A Bad Decision and the Fallacy of the Role Reversal Argument” →

Rethinking Christian Marriage

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 4 Comments

Most people I know have an intuitive sense that men and women are equally capable and that in the best marriages they work together as a team. Yet many of these same individuals assume that it is God’s plan for the man to be in charge, based on the fact that the Bible commands wives to submit to husbands in a way that it does not require of husbands.

They believe it was God who established this patriarchal, hierarchical system of marriage.

I don’t fault my friends, though, since I thought the same thing for a very long time. I thought it, I taught it, I lived it. I wouldn’t have couched it in precisely those terms, but I was convinced that the Bible gave men the authority in marriage.

What hadn’t occurred to me was how the Bible’s instructions on marriage compare to the ones about government and employment, how we understand and apply those commands, and how that ought to instruct the way we understand the marriage teachings.

It was time for me to rethink Christian marriage.

Continue reading “Rethinking Christian Marriage” →

Paul’s Theology of Gender Part 2: The First Reality

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

For the next few posts I’m going to focus on the overwhelming majority (96%) of what the Apostle Paul wrote that indicates he believed women and men are the same with respect to their full possession of the image of God. (If you haven’t read the first installment of this series, you may want to check it out before you read on.)

At this point in my life, I’m convinced that Paul believed women are fully and equally human, possessing the same essential human nature as men. I will explain why I believe this by walking you through the books of the New Testament that shed light on Paul’s thoughts, and when I’m finished you can decide if, as Ryan Lochte would say, I’m over-exaggerating.

Continue reading “Paul’s Theology of Gender Part 2: The First Reality” →