Category: Leadership

Shiny Hurting People, Imaginary Umbrellas, and Biblical Authority: Bill Gothard and IBLP

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

It was the summer of ’73, a hot and miserable evening in the San Bernardino Fairgrounds, when I stood from a steel folding chair and placed myself firmly under my umbrella of protection. My entire family had gone to hear the man of the moment, Bill Gothard, at his Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts (IBYC), a week-long seminar for all ages. Young, ignorant, and powerfully zealous, I had no clue that Gothard’s principles would gut my initiative, twist my understanding of the Bible, warp my view of God, or hamstring my future marriage. 

And yet that is exactly what they did.

Continue reading “Shiny Hurting People, Imaginary Umbrellas, and Biblical Authority: Bill Gothard and IBLP” →

Awkward! Why I Don’t Look for Ways to be Led by Every Man I Meet.

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 5 Comments

I’ve been interviewing painters. These days it seems so difficult to find someone who will do any work for a decent price – I mean someone who will do good work for a fair price. But we need the house painted, so I’ve been talking to a few men who claim they know how to wield a brush. The bids have been all over the map – anywhere from sky-high to lunar-high. Until the last guy, who we hired.

After our lucky painter left, I was thinking about something I read in a recent book arguing for distinct roles for men and women in the church. More of a practical how-to than a detailed biblical defense, I imagine that even if I agreed with the premise, numerous ideas would give me pause. One, in particular, came to mind after the departure of our competent and reasonable painter.

Continue reading “Awkward! Why I Don’t Look for Ways to be Led by Every Man I Meet.” →

According to Complementarian Michael Kruger, Listening to Women is Essential if We Hope to Successfully Confront Spiritual Abuse in the Church

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

Christianity Today ran a nice review of Michael J. Kruger’s new book Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church. I wholeheartedly agree that Kruger’s book is small yet mighty and will prove invaluable in addressing the issue of spiritual leaders who, as Kruger states, use their position to manipulate, domineer, bully, and intimidate those under them in order to maintain their power and control (24). 

However, the complementarian reviewer failed to mention the place Kruger grants women in identifying and confronting abuse by religious leaders. In his extensive research, Kruger spoke with people in different denominations and with varying theological viewpoints from across the country. These included pastors, leaders, congregants, and victims themselves.

What Kruger learned was this: women’s voices are essential, yet too often dismissed. Continue reading “According to Complementarian Michael Kruger, Listening to Women is Essential if We Hope to Successfully Confront Spiritual Abuse in the Church” →

They Should Have Known: Jephthah, Southern Baptists, and Sacrificing the Vulnerable

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 9 Comments

Early this year I started penning an article on Jephthah, but I had so much going on that I found it difficult to quiet my mind for writing. Things have settled down a bit now, though, so here goes nothing.

You may recall the narrative. Jephthah was that incomprehensible character who so misunderstood God’s word and his ways that he sacrificed his daughter to fulfill a vow. It’s one of those Bible horror stories that I hate so much, yet somehow feel compelled to decipher. Even when I try, I can’t escape my inner need to comprehend what went wrong and what we can do to avoid falling into the same trap.

Continue reading “They Should Have Known: Jephthah, Southern Baptists, and Sacrificing the Vulnerable” →

Does Authority Matter?

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

There’s a lot of talk about authority in Christian circles these days – who has it, who does not, who should, who should not. For some it has become a dividing line between truth and error, solid ground and slippery slope, particularly when it comes to who holds authority in the church and in the home. 

More than anything, conceptions of authority govern who speaks and who is silent, who leads and who follows, who decides and who agrees. In extreme cases, authority grants one Christian the right to tell another she must not leave her violent husband. In more run-of-the-mill scenarios, authority justifies affixing “unbiblical” to a marriage where responsibility, decision-making, and initiative are shared, where the hopes and dreams of both are equally cherished. 

On both sides of the deck beliefs about who has authority, how authority functions, and who may sit in official positions of authority define the limits of the pool.

Continue reading “Does Authority Matter?” →

Can a Woman Be a Pastor’s Right-Hand Man?

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 1 Comment

Just to clarify, I’m not talking about the pastor’s Girl Friday, who pens the letter in his name, buys the coffee at Costco, and types the announcements into the bulletin. Neither am I referring to the pastor’s Yes Man, the one who is uniformly loyal, gets behind every plan, and takes the pastor’s side in every disagreement. 

What I’m thinking of is that person who can be fiercely loyal yet also possess the courage to speak the truth, who is overwhelmingly supportive yet can correct or admonish when necessary, and who does so only out of a pure and undefiled love of God. It’s the one who hears from God and can speak on God’s behalf, not just out of their own wisdom, however valuable that may be.

I’m talking about the person God uses as a prophetic voice in the life of the pastor.

Continue reading “Can a Woman Be a Pastor’s Right-Hand Man?” →

Abigail and David’s Comrades: A Case of Great and Not-So-Great Advice

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 5 Comments

David, the future king, is on the lam. Except for brief moments of skin-deep remorse Saul is bent on impaling the young man who replaced the troubled king as the focus of public adulation. Seriously, how could the groupies do any less than swoon over the ruddily handsome warrior who took down a lion, a bear, and Goliath? And how could Saul do anything other than become absolutely, insanely jealous? So, throughout the second half of 1 Samuel, Israel’s new hero is on the run.

The question the text seems to ask, especially in chapters 24-26, is whether David will stoop to Saul’s level. Under the pressure of the crazy king’s unrelenting pursuit, will David become just as murderous? Will David permit the strain of the continual fighting for his life, barely evading Saul here, there, and everywhere, to consume his heart and destroy his integrity? Will he allow his sense of responsibility for Saul’s ruthless slaughter of the priests of Nob to push him over the edge?[1]

Yet even as the text confronts David with three sterling opportunities to take a wrong turn, it also turns the spotlight on who advises David well and who counsels him poorly.

Guess who lands on the right side of history.

Continue reading “Abigail and David’s Comrades: A Case of Great and Not-So-Great Advice” →

In Search of Male Leadership: The Logical Inconsistency of Defining a Man’s Initiative in One Way and a Woman’s in Another

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 29 Comments

Recently I attended a conference on the theology of marriage hosted by Denver Seminary. Over lunch I had a brief conversation with one of the presenters, a megachurch pastor and chair of the theology department at a school in another state. 

We were talking about whether the differences between men and women have to do with leading and following or with something else. My discussion partner explained that he does lead his wife and that this is a very important aspect of manhood in general and his manhood in particular, since he views himself as the priest of his home. As an example of his leadership, he mentioned that he often says to his wife, “Let’s pray.” She usually does the praying, he noted, since she is better at it than he. But his point was that he is doing the leading by suggesting they pray. Continue reading “In Search of Male Leadership: The Logical Inconsistency of Defining a Man’s Initiative in One Way and a Woman’s in Another” →

John MacArthur, Beth Moore, and Jumping to Conclusions: The Assumptions Behind a Hierarchical Interpretation of 1 Timothy 2:12

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 20 Comments

Last week I listened to a podcast where two women explained how they “stand with the Bible” when it comes to their hierarchical interpretation of 1 Timothy 2:12. As far as these Sheologians[1] are concerned, this verse proves that women should not teach the Bible to men, be in positions of authority over men, or be pastors and elders. The meaning of the verse is plain as day, they argued, so anyone who disagrees with their view is ignoring scripture.

These ladies went on to mockingly characterize women who believe God has called them to pastoral ministry as obsessed with selfish ambition. Women who “feel called” to church leadership, they laughed, go around whining about what they will do if they can’t be elders or pastors, as though there’s nothing else that needs to be done! As though men who aren’t called to be elders or pastors should go around complaining that there’s nothing for them to do, especially when there’s more than enough work to go around![2]

Continue reading “John MacArthur, Beth Moore, and Jumping to Conclusions: The Assumptions Behind a Hierarchical Interpretation of 1 Timothy 2:12” →

Heads, Hats and Honor: Man as the Head of Woman in 1 Corinthians 11

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 6 Comments

In 1 Corinthians 11 Paul writes about church-goers covering and uncovering their heads in worship. At least most people agree that the setting is worship, and the majority understand Paul to be talking about head coverings rather than hair length, although that is a possibility given the wording.

Yet very few of us thoroughly modern Millies and Billys get stuck on the hat issue, thinking we have to apply the passage literally. At least here in the colonies. English royal weddings may flourish under the weight of over-the-top head coverings, but here in the New World men may wear hats and women can arrive hatless to church.

Not only that, these hatted and unhatted individuals can talk in church if they want to.

Continue reading “Heads, Hats and Honor: Man as the Head of Woman in 1 Corinthians 11” →

A Husband is Not His Wife’s Shepherd

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 3 Comments

The Bible compares the relationship of a husband and wife to that of Christ and the church, implying that a human marriage is somehow a head-body connection like that of Jesus and his bride. We read that a man is the “head” of his wife like Christ is the “head” of the church, and we assume we comprehend what is intended. Not only do we know how Christ functions in relation to the church, by leading and directing and providing, but we also understand what it means to be the head of a corporation, head of state, or the head of a household.

It’s as plain as day.

Or is it?

Continue reading “A Husband is Not His Wife’s Shepherd” →

Tradition, Teaching and Women in the Church: Podcast with Dr. Juli Slattery

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

I recently spent an hour chatting with psychologist Dr. Juli Slattery and author Michele Cushatt about how each of us is personally navigating the things we face as women who have a leadership and teaching role in the church. In our Java with Juli podcast Tradition, Teaching and Women in the Church, we also look at the role tradition and culture have played in forming our understanding both of Scripture and of a woman’s place in the church. While you’re over at Authentic Intimacy, you might want to check out some of Juli’s other podcasts and articles that cover a wide range of subjects.

Letter to My Future Pastor, Part 3

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 1 Comment

In the first two segments of this three-part series I discussed three of the most important qualities I would look for in a senior pastor if I were in the market, which I’m not. Today I’ll add one final thought. If you haven’t read them yet, you can access parts one and two here.

A Pastor Who Embraces Ethical Church Governance

This might seem like a no-brainer, but in my experience it’s harder than you would think for a church to put in place a system that ensures ethical practices, particularly when it comes to finances. In this post I’m not going to try to convince you that one form of church governance is better than another, whether congregational, Presbyterian, episcopal, or the more recent development of senior pastor as CEO, although I have my opinion on that.

Continue reading “Letter to My Future Pastor, Part 3” →

Letter to My Future Pastor, Part 2

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 11 Comments

In the first segment of this three-part series, I wrote about two of the most important qualities I would look for in a senior pastor if I were in the market which, by the way, I’m not.

Sorry about that.

But if you aspire to the pastorate, hoping to be someone’s pastor somewhere some day, today’s discussion may be the most helpful to you personally. Applying what you read here may make the difference between surviving for the long haul versus crashing and burning before your time.

Continue reading “Letter to My Future Pastor, Part 2” →

Letter to My Future Pastor, Part 1

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 4 Comments

Don’t have a heart attack. I have no plans to leave my church. But life throws its curve balls now and then and I have learned to be flexible. So if, for some unforeseen reason, I happened to be in the market for a new church or even just a new pastor, here are a couple of things I would look for in the person chosen to lead the flock. In my next two posts I will talk about two more.

Continue reading “Letter to My Future Pastor, Part 1” →