Category: Bible Couples

Sarah, Hagar, Abraham and a Mother’s Day Talk Audio Recording

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

Here is the audio of me speaking at my church on Mother’s Day a few years ago. The links on my website to various talks I have given over the years are either not working anymore or require a subscription to access. So, to those of you who have been trying to access an audio recording, I apologize and give you this instead.

In my talk I look at the wealthy, privileged, and beautiful yet childless Sarah, the poor, immigrant, working mom Hagar, along with Abraham, the patriarch who linked these two very different women into their life as one blended but dysfunctional family. Infertility, class differences, cultural pressures, and ancient marriage contracts surface to shed light on our own struggles to live out our lives as women.

Happy listening!

“A Woman and Her God”

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What I Learned from the Perfect Wife: Sarah, Abraham and 1 Peter 3:1-6

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 4 Comments

I’ve mentioned this here before, but my marriage went through a radical transformation a number of years ago. For a long time my husband and I tried to work out our relationship according to traditional biblical marriage teachings, with him leading and me submitting.

We were committed to this path since we thought it was the way a Christian marriage should function, even though we ended up far more frustrated than happy. Then about ten years ago we went through a crisis that brought all of our unhealthy relational patterns to the surface. At that point we either had to figure out how to change or face the possibility of losing everything we had worked toward for so long.

Continue reading “What I Learned from the Perfect Wife: Sarah, Abraham and 1 Peter 3:1-6” →

Five Reasons I Don’t See Male-Female Hierarchy in Genesis 1-3

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 3 Comments

I recently recorded another podcast with Dr. Juli Slattery, cofounder of Authentic Intimacy and author of Rethinking Sexuality. This time the discussion was about husbands and wives who control their spouses. The other guest that day was Dr. Ron Welch, a counseling professor at Denver Seminary and author of The Controlling Husband.

Our topic was prompted by this response to an earlier podcast Juli had done with the Welches about how Ron had overcome his tendency to be a controlling husband.

Juli, I would love to hear you discuss this topic, with the added element of spiritual abuse. My husband sounds so much like Dr. Welch, except he also acts as the voice of God in my life. He accuses me of resisting God, of being unsaved and not the kind of woman God esteems, etc. I’m in counseling and have had a pastor friend reach out to him, but he refuses to consider marriage counseling or meeting with a pastor. He says I’m unempowered by God because I’m seeking outside help.[1]

Continue reading “Five Reasons I Don’t See Male-Female Hierarchy in Genesis 1-3” →

Adam and Eve Didn’t Reverse Roles

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 8 Comments

Some of you who read my post A Bad Decision and the Fallacy of the Role Reversal Argument had questions about the whole idea of role reversal. What I want to do today is explain how Genesis 3 is interpreted to get the idea and how this position misses the point. In this post I’m going to respond to the idea of role reversal. In my next I will rebut the perspective that headship means authority.

But before we get started, let me explain what a, role reversal is. Fundamentally, it is the idea that Adam and Eve sinned by reversing their God-ordained gender roles. Eve wanted to be in charge and Adam didn’t.

Bingo. Roles reversed.

Continue reading “Adam and Eve Didn’t Reverse Roles” →

A Bad Decision and the Fallacy of the Role Reversal Argument

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 5 Comments

Now and then my husband and I make a bad decision. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Sometimes it’s one we arrive at together, sometimes it’s his decision, and sometimes it’s mine.

Recently we made a killer of a bad business decision.

The painful consequences of our fecklessness prompted Jim and me to reflect on our decision-making process and how we can improve it. Our bottom line: we didn’t work together the way we should have. We need to improve our commitment to sharing our gut-level hesitations with each other, to taking more time in conversation before signing on the dotted line.

One thing that never crossed our mind, however, was that our bad decision was due to a role reversal. In other words, we don’t believe that if I would just stay out of it, Jim would make terrific decisions.

Continue reading “A Bad Decision and the Fallacy of the Role Reversal Argument” →

Domestic Abuse, A Second-Class Wife, and a Bible Horror Story

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes reading the Bible will make you sick. Unflinchingly honest about man’s inhumanity to man, there is more than one narrative that is nearly impossible to stomach. We are left wondering how and why such horrors came to be and, in our disgust, prefer to look the other way. We tell ourselves we don’t need to study these passages, since we would never do such things.

Of course not.

So we move on.

Yet if we skip the ugly stories we miss what God wants to say to us through them, how he wants to warn our minds of their dullness, open our eyes to their carelessness, awaken our hands to their blindness.

The account of the Levite and his second-class wife, found in Judges 19-21, is one of those. I know its general purpose in the Old Testament is to explain what in the world happened to the tribe of Benjamin, once so strong and powerful. But I am convinced its purpose for our hearts goes much deeper than that.[1]

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Tradition, Teaching and Women in the Church: Podcast with Dr. Juli Slattery

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ Leave a comment

I recently spent an hour chatting with psychologist Dr. Juli Slattery and author Michele Cushatt about how each of us is personally navigating the things we face as women who have a leadership and teaching role in the church. In our Java with Juli podcast Tradition, Teaching and Women in the Church, we also look at the role tradition and culture have played in forming our understanding both of Scripture and of a woman’s place in the church. While you’re over at Authentic Intimacy, you might want to check out some of Juli’s other podcasts and articles that cover a wide range of subjects.

Should Men Listen to Women?

~ Sarah J. O'Connor ~ 8 Comments

Some people think it was a sin for Adam to listen to Eve, that he sinned not only by eating the forbidden fruit but also by listening to his wife. From this they seem to surmise that it is not only dangerous but also wrong for a man to listen to a woman, especially if that woman happens to be his wife.

As support for their view they cite God’s words to Adam in Genesis 3:17:

To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you…”

The idea is that Adam fell into a heap of trouble for two reasons: wife-listening and fruit-eating, two equally rash and sinful behaviors. Even though Adam received no prohibition regarding the evils of wife-listening, apparently he should have known.

Continue reading “Should Men Listen to Women?” →